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Maxi López: Blonde, But No Bombshell Posted 02/04/07 12:20EmailPrintSave If bombastic film director James Cameron is on the look out for a new grand project, having already trawled the ocean depths for sea monsters and questioned the theological basis of Christianity, he may want to take on an even bigger mystery - how Argentinean striker Maxi López ever managed to become a professional footballer. With his flowing blonde locks and fondness for hair bands, Maxi López is one of those footballers that needs to be feared by opposition fans - to avoid a barrage of taunts from less metrosexual sections that he looks like a bit of a girl. Unfortunately, the Mallorca misfit has developed the reputation for being the footballing equivalent of Croydon - and happens to resemble Madonna, during her 'Vogue' phase. Not a good combination. When Maxi first arrived in Europe from River Plate, he was heralded as a free scoring genius. In actual fact, he was a crock - a nifty trick that the Argentine club repeated with sale of Gonzalo Higuaín to Real Madrid. The glowing reports of this tantalising talent were persuasive enough for Barcelona to fork out six million euros, in January 2005, as the soon to be league champions looked to add some zip to their forward line. However, Frank Rijkaard had been handed a dud. In 18 months at the Camp Nou, the Argentinean forward featured in just 14 league games - in which he racked up the grand total of zero goals and a string of memorable misses. Although Maxi was more than happy to sit on the Barcelona bench for another year, the Catalan club had grown so sick of the sight of him that they begged Real Mallorca to take him on loan, in the desperate hope that the Balearic side could lick him into shape, so to speak. So far, there is little sign that any progress has been made. In theory, Mallorca must be one of the more attractive clubs to play for in Europe, with its heady combination of sun, golf and night clubbing - an irresistible mix for the average footballer. However, the side only seems to attract the Spanish league's waifs and strays. For this reason, the Balearic battlers are constantly fighting relegation and are apparently waiting for the day when Samuel Eto'o returns to the San Moix, something he has often promised. In the current Mallorca line up are two dodgy 'keepers, Ariel Ibagaza - a man described by AS as 'only playing when he fancies it' - Diego Tristán - a striker who turned down a move to Bolton because it was too cold - and the extremely prickly but occasionally effective Juan Arango. And, of course, Maxi López - 'the biggest disappointment in the league', to quote AS again. Despite the move across the Mediterranean, Maxi has managed to pick up where he left off. In 26 league outings for Mallorca, the 22 year old has managed a whopping two goals - and one of them was a David Nugent style unmissable effort. For this reason, Real Mallorca have been caught up in another relegation battle. Going into Sunday afternoon's match, the side sat in 15th, just five points from the relegation zone. But there was light at the end of the tunnel for Gregorio Manzano - his team were playing Atletico Madrid, the most charitable side in La Primera when it comes to handing out points. Mallorca started the proceedings at the Vicente Calderón in typical style - by slowing the pace of the game down to a crawl and by leaving Maxi on the bench. Unusually, this failed to work and Atletico took the lead in the sixteenth minute when Fernando Torres chipped past Miguel Moyá in the Mallorca goal. After that, the rojiblancos didn't really know what to do with themselves - 'their typical identity crisis', sniffed Marca. At the start of the second half, Manzano decided to take firm action - but then changed his mind and opted to throw Maxi López on after Arango had grabbed an equaliser. To wolf-whistles and shouts of "Hey, gorgeous", Maxi trotted onto the pitch in the fifty-eighth minute and did the following. 62' - shot wide. 67' - hit in testicles with ball. 68' - aimless run. 83' - argument with linesman. 84' - ran into the back of Peter Luccin. All this while his team-mates time-wasted and kicked Atletico in the air to secure the 1-1 draw. The only thing to keep an ever dwindling but wholly unimpressed crowd entertained was the goal flashes from Racing Santander's insane 5-4 battle with Athletic Bilbao. By the time the referee blew the whistle on another home debacle for Atletico Madrid, there was only the ballboys and a couple of bored pigeons left watching. "We showed great concentration," said a very satisfied Manzano after the game. 'Another Atletico mess-up' sighed Marca the next morning - and they were right. Despite Mallorca's defence performing well, there was very little else that the visitors brought to the game - especially with Maxi up front for the last half an hour. But this is the story of the rojiblanco season. One self-inflicted disaster after another as supposedly inferior opposition journey to the Calderón and mug their hosts. Javier Aguirre's men have now dropped to sixth, six points off the targeted Champions League spots, and are in danger of losing out to the likes of Racing and Recreativo in the hunt for a UEFA Cup berth. No great shakes for a side that splurged nearly 60 million euros on new players over the summer. Mallorca stay just ahead of the relegation dog fight, with Levante having lost to the still doomed Real Sociedad and Celta Vigo unfortunate to lose out 2-1 to Real Madrid. With comfortable looking home games to 'Nastic and Getafe on the horizon, there is enough opportunity for Mallorca to maintain their top flight status for another year. However, it's doubtful that the on loan Maxi López will be there to join them. Instead he will be shipped back to Barcelona, marked 'damaged goods'. He may be blonde, but there's very little ambition. http://www.football365.com/spanish_thing/0,17033,9405_2033745,00.html